My Dilemma
by Just-need-a-little-time
Summary: She's three inches from my face when she looks up. We've been studying. Looking down at our books sometimes we forget how close our faces are. We sit there just staring, it feels like twenty minutes, but it's probably only been two.


**A/N Okay so I got the new Selena Gomez album. (It's pretty good you should go out and get it, even if it's not your thing. ) And also received a tweet saying the track "****My Dilemma"** **was a Seddie song. It is! I'm writing this in Freddie's POV because although there are many "Sam" songs, I think songs that are about decisions, and "trying to run" and not "being good for them", describe Freddie. Skips some lyrics, and as the story progresses they get older, scenes from iCarly are used, and some are made up.**

**I find myself attracted, to My Dilemma.**

_You make me so upset sometimes. I feel like I could lose my mind_

She smiles, wait, it's more like one of those smiles that evil villains make before they kill. maim, or stab. This is right after she shoves breakfast into my backpack. I feel like punching her. But I just know that she'd end up giving me a black eye. She always gets away with thing like this. I let her off the hook because I get scared. And it's not just her punch I'm afraid of.

_The conversation goes nowhere because I know you'll never take me there._

She's three inches from my face when she looks up. We've been studying. Looking down at our books sometimes we forget how close our faces are. We sit there just staring, it feels like twenty minutes, but it's probably only been two. "Um. I better get down stairs and help Carly pack" she whispers. "And I still want to hit Spencer for believing in the beavcoon." She laughs quietly at the absurdity of believing in something like that. "Yeah" I sigh. "You better go do that."

_And I know what I know and I know you're no good for me._

I know as soon as the words come out of my mouth I knew that it was a mistake to tell my mom. "That Sam girl is no good for you, why don't you like Carly anymore? She's such a sweet girl." I sigh. "I don't know. It's still there, sort of, but I do know for a fact that I love Sam more." _And you can't change that._

_And I tell myself to run from you, but I find myself attracted to My Dilemma_

She's a rush of blond curls, she moves so fast you can hardly see her. I should hate her even more every time she hits me. But I don't because she is too beautiful to hate. She's a problem, no, not _a_ problem, she's _my_ problem. I don't want to solve her though, because then she'll go away.

_Your eyes have told a thousand lies, but I believe them when you look in mine._

"Are you going out with that Dylan guy?" I ask. She's mad now, shoving book into her locker. She looks up, Her face is mad, her mouth in deep frown. But her eyes are soft. Like she's trying to tell me something. Non-verbal communication has never been my strong suit. She stares at me with that same look on her face. For a minute I think that she looks like she's going to cry, but the look disappears before I can process it. The final bell rings and she rushes off to class. I wonder if she still has feeling for me, and for a second I believe it.

_I could live without you_

" I got in."

Sam holds the NYU acceptance letter in her hand. There isn't a trace of joy in her voice, "That's _so_ great Sam." We'd been dating for 2 years, and Carly said she could tell before we could that we were in love. A tear rolls down Sam's cheek. I can't tell if it's from disguised happiness, or evident sadness, "No it's not, you're going to Brown, that's not even in the states." She breathes. "But you don't know if you've even gotten into

Brown yet. Your letter didn't come so there's still a chance…" Sam weeps softly and I come close to comfort her. "Yeah, but we both know I'm not smart enough for Brown." She sighs. "That's not true, you've brought up your grades so high, not even Carly can compete." I walk her to the Shay's sofa and tell her we should look through the scrapbook of old photos of us.

_Your smile._

It's been twenty minutes, and Sam feels better, laughing at old memories. We come across an old photo from the first year of high school. Sam's smiling a mile wide, one arm around my shoulder, and her other around Carly. 'You know that's the first time I _really_ noticed you." I say. She turns her head. " Why?" she asks, her eyes curious. "That smile you have, you're usually bitter, but that day, you were _different_, you had this glow." She smiles and kisses me. It's awkward though. With the position she's in. " It's because I was with you"

_Your eyes._

It's been two weeks, and Sam and I are walking down the street to Carly's apartment. Sam's eyes are sparkling with joy and they don't look like they could be any bluer, She goes on and on about this new discovery in the bacon world, and I half listen. When we get into the lobby to Carly's apartment building, she takes a pause to chuck a duck bone at Lewbert's face when he yells at her to stop eating meat in his lobby. She continues talking and when we get close to the apartment we know so well, she get silent, and touches something in her pocket. The only thing Carly does to greet us is turn to Sam and ask, "Well what's the verdict?"

_But I don't want to._

Sam asks the same to Carly, and they each pull out an envelope and give one to each other. They count to three, and after tearing the envelopes open and each of them scanning the words written on the letters. They go it to a fit of hysterics. Screams fill the room, and after about 10 minutes of me not knowing what the hell was going on. They turned to me and and say the three words that change my life. "We got into Brown." For a minute I can't speak and my mind collapses in on itself. Then it hits me. My girlfriend and my best friend are both going to the same college I am. "How?" Was the only word I form. "The letters got lost the mail!" Carly screams. Sam doesn't do anything for a minute, but when Carly "Gives us a minute." She kisses me. " I love you." She whispers.

**A/N yeah. I know that I left a few lyrics out of the song. (If you've listened to it : ) ) but The lyrics that I took out didn't seem to relate to Freddie that much (It's a **_**girls**_** song) so I took 'em out because they'd make the fic seem awkward. Hope you enjoyed it. If you read books WAY too much (like I do) I want to recommend "Paper Towns" It sort of reminds me of dangerous Sam and cautious Freddie, and it's a really good book ; ) **

–**Kori**

**Yeah I deleted All my stories except one. I read them over and realized they had so many mistakes and were so messy, that I couldn't stand to read them. -_-**

**Anyway things will be getting better soon. I better stick to oneshots, like so many people, I too am afraid of commitment, even with my fan fiction.**


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